I am scared. I thought maybe if I wrote about what was bothering me, I would feel better, but so far its still very scary. You see, I am scared of everything. I am scared of what people think. I am scared of how the day will work out. I am scared of dying alone. I am scared of being loved, and above all... I am scared of myself. I don't have enough time to tell you about my past life, not enough space in my mind to comprehend it anyway. I will save that for another blog. This is suppose to be my very first blog, which means I am suppose to tell you things about me. My name is Jamie, I am 15 years old, I love music and art, and I am troubled. Music is my life, and my poison. It can mellow me out, or it cant make is homicidal. It just depends. I hate being 15, period. I am normally calm and controlled, but sometimes my emotions do take over. I have major depression, anxiety, paranoia, ADD; and I am currently on an anti-phycotic, anti-depressant, ADD medication, and a sleep medication, because I can not sleep at night. All these pills, and all the treatment I have gone through, have made me who I am, and who I will become. I feel that, that person is worthy of a blog. Or at least having one. This is my blog. This is my life. Hopefully, those of you who read it will find some interest in it. But my wish is not for you to find is entertaining, although if you do that's ok. My reason for doing any of this, is to teach. Not about other teens my age going through the same thing, because no teen has gone through what I have, the exact same way I have. That is what makes my story extra ordinary.
Song:
Grapevine Fires- Death Cab For Cutie.
