Hate

Love is hard, no matter what anyone else says. I have had many a love, but hardly have I had the one guy who I could call "worthy" of my love. The kind of guy who will hold my hand while we walk. The kind of guy who would dance with me in the street when it rained. The kind of guy who isn't scared to be with a crazy person. I just wish that I could find that guy, now, not later. Everyone tells me that it will come in due time... But what if due time is to late? What if I give up, and give in to a guy who is less then worthy? What would I have done to my life? Would I have destroyed it? Or would I have simply made a big mistake? These are the questions that run through my head every day, nonstop! I stay up and I blog every night because if I don't, I lay in bed and bask in my ever drowning loneliness.
There is a song, the song of the night, that brings up a good point. That point, is one I agree with to the fullest.

Somebody tell me, why I'm on my own. If there is a soul mate, for everyone...

I know I am "to young" to find love, or so some say. But I don't believe any of that, at all... I feel that you are never to young or to old to find love, in anything! Love is a vast and crazy wilderness that contains many different things! Its a jungle waiting to be explored! Of course there will be snakes and bugs along the way, its a damn jungle! But it shouldn't be as hard as it is for me. I think if I had someone to love in my life, it would be a lot simpler. Not as much heartache, pain or sadness and hardly any suicidal thoughts.
I've been lonely for 15 years. Growing up with no brothers or sisters was a big thing when I was litter, and towards my middle ages 9-12. But now, I have gotten over being an only child, and now all I want is someone to hold me and love me. I gave up on having siblings when I was about 13, because before I had tried so many times to get my parents to look into adoption, and they did for about a week then stopped. So I've coped with the fact that I will never having siblings. But I will never cope with not having someone who cares, physically, and emotionally. I have to fight back crying every night because I am so lonely.
Well I guess I will find "him" one day. Hopefully...

"My Perfect Guy:

1: Sweet.

2: Kind.

3: Brainy.

4: Funny.

5: Cute (My definition).

6: Understanding.

7: Pervy.

8: Troubled.

9: Must Love Music.

20: Affectionate."

Song:

Soulmate- Natasha Bedingfield.